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The Peer Group Challenge

If I were to die today would I die proud of myself and the life I have lived? Would my life be used as a shining example? Or as a dire warning to others? A bed-time tale of: “Do you want to be like Ellie when you grow up? Do you? Do YOU!?” Imagine the […]

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A Question of Posture

Exactly how far should one’s vagina be from the saddle when attempting to stand to the trot without collapsing forwards, falling off backward, or using the reins as if water-skiing? Half an inch? Four inches? And how do you word this question when trying to ask your coach without her looking at you oddly? Again. […]

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Hands up who swears and/or laughs out loud whilst competing?

Thank you to the Menopausal Mayhem Mothers for this brillant picture. ME!! I laugh. ?I swear. ?And sometimes I shriek a little bit. ?And I’m not quiet about it either. ?I don’t mean to. ?It just happens. ?It is not helped by the fact my horse is enormous and feels like he is doing everything […]

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The Weird, Controlling Shenanigans of the Galop System

It would appear some riders in France are experiencing difficulty obtaining their Galop 7 Certificate which has nothing to do with their riding ability.? This is not fair!? Lots of us are really old and want to achieve goals before we are even older and a bit more decrepider.? I am one of these people. […]

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When Ambition Outweighs Common Sense

Henri. What can we say about Henri? He?s a cheeky little monkey, that?s what he is. A naughty, naughty boy. And definitely NOT the messiah I thought him to be. (Gratuitous Pythonism, sorry.)? I shall tell you about him in a moment. But allow me to start part of the way through as the beginning […]

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Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality…

…I opened my eyes.? Looked up to the skies.? And saw … that it is my 50th birthday tomorrow.? I took a quick look-see but as far as I can tell I am not an international show jumper.? I am, however, the proud owner of a Wange Wover and a Wice Twailer.? But I do […]

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Is it wrong to date a man for his tractor?

My hay-man’s salutary kisses of hello (4 times on alternate sides) and goodbye (another 4 times!!) have been, incrementaly over the last two years, getting less and less cheek-based and heading more and more towards the mouth region.? The lip-corner was finally reached on Saturday with full eye-contact and an amused grin on both our […]

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The Big Lick

  I am going to take a break from tradition and talk about something other than myself.? (Although I will still be using many sentences with “I” in them – here comes the first one …) I was scrolling through Facebook of an evening when I came across this picture of a Tennessee Walking Horse […]

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werewolf -v- horse

boo!! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhrghhhhh. Ouch. Get off of me you silly mare. No. I cannot carry you to safety. Why? Because you weigh 750 kilos to my 55 kilos and you are not made of an easily foldable material. And because I am considerably shorter than you so even if I did deign to pick you up […]

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Oiy!! Short-arse!

For fifteen years I resided in The Land of Giants. Or the north of England as it is now more popularly known. ?Obviously, this is a purely subjective perspective, but it must be noted that when I lived in Huddersfield all my friends were considerably taller than me. ?I was forever having someone place a […]