The Plan. dun, dun, daaaaaaaa …

What am I thinking?? I can’t do that!!? These are professional atheletes.? Being ridden by other professional atheletes.? I am a professional drunk.? Look at that first image.? That is more me.? No, not the woman hurling herself through the air on a massive horse.? The one on the floor passed out next to the photographer.? It has to be said – I moved to France for the inexpensive wine and because less people comment on my red nose everytime I forget to wear make-up.
These people are hyper-focussed.? Dedicating life-times to their sport.? Oftentimes second, or even third, generation show jumpers – their life, their sport, their blood.? I, on the other hand, am more of the wayward type.? Not when it comes to my horses and riding – that part of my life is actually quite disciplined but the rest of it is away with the fairies and always has been.? Hence the lack of suitable infrastructure to truely chase my dream.? But that is about to change.? No more shall I flit from flower to flower.? Now I will march from goal to goal!
The first thing to deal with is my age.? Where did I put my time machine?? From this day forwards I am going to put my fingers in my ears and sing everytime someone says I am too old.? FFS I am only 48!? I have years left.? It is the horse who jumps the jumps not me.? Look at these guys …
Thomas Fruhman, aged 64 riding The Sixth Sense, aged 19.

Hugo Simon, oldest Grand Prix winner, aged 72.

Therefore, I have a good 20 years ahead of me if I start now.? Currently, I am competing in Club 2.? This means I ride for a Club on Club registered horses over 12 or 13 jumps at a height of 85cm.? This video shows me last weekend at St Yrieix.? It is the first time I have ridden the grey so I am taking it easy doing a Club 3 then the second round is at Club 2.

I know it is not perfect.? I know I have a long way to go.? I can see what needs working on.? I know a lot of people would tell me to give up now and be happy with staying at this level.? I know, I know, I know.? But I am just not going to listen to them.? Constructive critisism, yes.? Negativity, no.
I am perfectly capable of riding at Club 1 and Club elite which have slightly more technical courses of 95cm and 105cm respectively.? However, to do so I must take what is known as a Galop 6 before I am allowed.? Which will cost me money.? And I will need to use my own horses as the Club does not have any who can compete at that level but I have no vehicle with which to tow my horse trailer.? Which will cost me money.? I also do not have the correct driving license to tow in France.? Which will cost me lots of money.? I need money.? Give me money, pretty please.
However, if I go out and find a second job to earn more I will then not have the time to work with my horses which kind of defeats the whole point.? Sponsorship is not a realistic possibility at this juncture and there is something a bit icky about marrying for money.? Always assuming I could actually find a monied man who also finds me attractive while living the hermit’s life in the middle of no-where.? I really should mix with humans a bit more.
In an attempt to resolve this issue I am now dedicating every rainy day to working online.? I googled “how to earn money online” and there seems to be loads of ways.? These will become subjects for future blogs as I work my way though the good and the bad.? Some are clearly scams but others seem perfectly feasable.? We shall see.
I am also going to quit drinking.? Or at least drink less.? Or maybe I will deal with the underlaying issues and hope the drinking will lessen automatically.? The addict’s brain is very good at justification.? What are we doing?? Celebrating the bi-cenntenary of this Wednesday 200 years ago?? Cool.? I can drink to that!? No.? No more.? Focus Ellie, focus.? It is not just for saving money.? If I am going to have half a chance of pulling this challenge off then I am going to have to look after myself better.? Five litres of wine a week is not a good idea if I wish to achieve my heart’s desire.
So there you have it.? In a nutshell, I am going to become a famous sportswoman competing at CSI 1* events who is rich and teetotal and free of delusions and mental illnesses and all in 22 months or less.? Wish me luck.

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