Little Kisses Turn a Frightening Horse Into a Genuine Friend

HUGELY IMPORTANT – Do not randomly kiss a horse who is trying to bite you!! Because that is asking for a hospital visit to have your nose sewn back on. 

This article is anecdotal and for your amusement only.

It is not a true empirical study as I haven’t any statistical data due to having a menopausal brain. Also, I am not a professional horse trainer; nor a qualified behaviourist. But there are lots of horses where I work. And I do live in a field with a variety of equines.  

Ok. Disclaimers done. Let’s get on with it.

Aggressive horse? 

Angry horse? 

Or defensive behaviours created by you or another human?

Having worked at several yards, I sometimes think I am shit-shovelling myself around the planet.

One thing that always seems to happen is this …

“Watch out for the grey in the end stable. He is a nasty mf.”

“Don’t go behind that mare in the field. She kicks.”

“Be careful! That is a stallion!”

Another thing that always seems to happen is this …

By the end of the first (or sometimes second) day that Booping Spot on the nose has been booped . . . and kissed.

Aggressive, my arse.

Although possibly a little embarrassed that their street-cred has just dissolved in the saliva of a middle-aged equestrian who insists on kissing every horse she meets.

As a species, we need to start using the senses we were born with. Senses that have evolved over … well, quite a long time, actually. We have eyes. And if they work correctly we should start using them correctly.

It only takes a second for us to take in all the relevant info right before us.

It takes a few dozen milliseconds. That leaves a whole 950-something milliseconds before you even arrive at a second.

The problem is that the brain tends to predict things before the eyes see them.

If you are expecting to see an aggressive animal then the chances are you will see an aggressive animal.

And what do these people do while handling supposed aggressive horses?

They shout. And bluster.

Lots of horsey people are also shouty people.

Not all of them, of course. You dear readers are probably nice and zen. But you have also noticed that lots of other equestrians shout.

Or huff

And puff

And blow that relationship away

I am on a mission to stop the shouting.

Shouting at a horse only puts them into a hypervigilant state. They become ready for those anticipated threats. And defensiveness follows. Or what people mistakenly call aggression.

Yelling may provide the yeller with a sense of control and power. However, that power is short-lived because it undermines a genuine bond with the yellee. It diminishes trust. It kills any sense of safety for both human and horse.

Basically, a bloody daft way to go about treating an animal you want to sit upon at some point.

A bit like pissing off a surgeon just before they operate on you. Your life is in their hands.

Or hooves. 

More kissing is required. 

It is lovely to see their faces when they expect to be shouted at but get a nice calm person instead.

Gentle voices 

Loving thoughts 

Calm expressions. 

Eyes that see who are in front of them and not “what” they have been told is there. A bit more kissing. A bit more realizing a horse is not an “it”, or a “what”, or a “thing”.

And don’t forget to Boop.

Let’s all be non-shouty people.

And to the person reading this calling me a bloody hippy …

Yep. And proud.

Now come here so I can give you a big kiss and a daisy.

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