A stand-up comedy routine for horsey women Good evening, horse people! You made it! Sitting here in one piece. Unless you’re hiding a brace or an ice pack under those Spanx. Let’s be honest, at this point, riding isn’t a sport; it’s an extreme test of our faith in our ability to bounce. I see some […]
Ageing gracefully in the saddle requires maintaining flexibility, balance, and strength to meet the demands of horseback riding. Whether you’re riding for competition or leisure, these seven rider-friendly exercises will help you stay supple, aligned, and focused, allowing you to enjoy your equestrian passion for years to come. 1. Pelvic Tilts for Core Strength Why
For the Spotify audio version click this sentence. You know when you’re tired and take a star-shaped nap on the geotextile of the unfinished outdoor school? I did that today. When I woke up, I thought, “Well, while I’m down here, I might as well find out if I can put my feet over my
Please STOP! I want to kidnap you and force you to learn to calm down. Just chill, dude. There is a remarkably stupid tendency humans and other primates, horses, dogs, and most fowl share. Emotional Contagion. But before we go any further I want to let you know you don’t have to read this article.
What the hell just happened? All I wanted to do was fill the water trough so the three-year-olds could have fresh water. The next thing I know, I am waving the hosepipe from side to side and shouting, “All I want is a bit of personal space!!!” while the babies look at me as if
HUGELY IMPORTANT – Do not randomly kiss a horse who is trying to bite you!! Because that is asking for a hospital visit to have your nose sewn back on. This article is anecdotal and for your amusement only. It is not a true empirical study as I haven’t any statistical data due to having a
Now and then, when reading Facebook posts and comments in the various horsey groups I am in, I come across an exciting person. You know what I mean? They only make one small comment but you know they are special. And I don’t mean a whispered ‘special’, either. I was reading some post that does
After the last ice age, nomadic tribes rarely went anywhere without a few cannabis seeds tucked about their personage or luggage. It was positively de rigueur! This symbiotic joint migration (pun definitely intended) of plant and people was initially in the company of their canine followers but a few thousand years later the equines tagged along for the ride too.
Who remembers “Chase Me Charlie” the cross between a jumping class and a gymkana game? Two uprights, one pole, and maybe if you were lucky a ground pole. Aim pony at obstacle. Gallop at it like a nutter. Hope like hell pony does not stop. If your pony clears the jump you are through to
Walk past any large livestock animal in the summertime, and the next thing you know, you have swarms of little black buzzing things zooming around your head and bombarding your face. They get in your eyes, ears, nose, and throat. And the only way to get rid of them is to run away screaming faster
9500 years ago a child was buried with a cat in Cyprus. I bet that kid poked that cat’s nose. So I looked up Turkish and Greek for “boop”.
Modern coaches are geared up with an armoury of psychological cattle prods designed to keep you motivated until the proverbial cows come home.
No point in wanting something if you are not going to get off your arse and go for it. And your arse is quite instrumental in improving your riding seat.
The profits from the sales of The Yard will go towards a farm-based therapy centre for the terminally ill. A peaceful, wild and natural place.
There is a controversy bigger than Bitted v Bitless. Bigger than Shod v Barefoot. Bigger than Natural Horsemanship v Traditional Training. What is it? Tongue Clicking!
Humans have misread the common sense and self-preservation instinct of a mule as being stubborn for centuries; even turning their error into a self-perpetuating myth.
Shetland ponies are highly intelligent, very cute, full of character, and lots of fun to own. But be warned! That intelligence has a price! Here are some facts to consider before owning a Shetland pony.
You can be as delicate as an archeologist at a dig, but guaranteed, the one time you use a bit more oomph, you will throw the hidden spoor all over the place.
I am a 5’2″ small adult. Teeny Tiny. My Belgian Warmblood horse is 17 hands high. Or to non-horsey people, 172.72cms. Enormous. Ladders are my friend.
Just because we can’t see, smell or hear as well as a prey animal we assume they are ‘talking’ bollocks. But they have been on this planet in one form or another for 55 million years compared to our rather pathetic 200,000 years.
It’s not so bad if you have a working washing machine. Mine gave me electric shocks. I became so scared I threw it out. I use a bucket now. Or the bath.
I lost the sensible bridge to stroll calmly across into the new and classier version of show jumping. Instead, I introduced myself to this unknown world by loudly shouting ‘fuck’. A lot.
Up until now, I have been passively observing this sloth-speed courtship with much curiosity and a little amusement – almost a social experiment, if you will.
It is not the level you are riding at that will determine the quality of your peer group. It is your beliefs about what you are capable of, given the chance.
I am supposed to be learning to stand upright. In perfect balance. To correct a VERY BAD HABIT – folding forwards dramatically, and unnecessarily over jumps.
You get to a point where you just know you are “flogging a dead horse”.
I wondered if Albert Voorn, my coach’s coach, would be up for it. Always good to get an Olympian on board. If you’re going to get carried away, do it in style
I am going to take a break from tradition and talk about something other than myself. Although I will still be using many sentences with ‘I’ in them – here comes the first one … I was scrolling through Facebook of an evening when I came across this picture of a Tennessee Walking Horse called
I have developed several techniques over the years. However, they are far from perfect and are about as graceful as filling a haynet with only one arm.
There are as many training methods out there as there are possible ideas in the minds of billions of humans.? Some of them are possibly nearly correct.? But they all have one thing in common – the need to eventually safely come to a stop and get off the rather large animal who was previously
There is a saying in Britain – you have to fall off 10 times before you can call yourself a rider.? In France it is 100 times!!? Therefore, I am not a rider.? And I never will be.? I point blank refuse to fall off.? I am too scared to do it in case I
So, I thought to myself, do I become a cartoon character or a sportswoman?? Or a painter?? Oooo – Architect! No.? What did I become?? A poop scooper.? Yes you heard (?) me correctly.? I shovelled shit.? Every day.? I put it into big piles.? I blocked holes in the hedges with it.? I used
